Dec 8

Ahhh, Winter. I love the cold. Makes me feel alive.

Two more adoptions are in the works, number 13 and 14 for H4H. I remember how hard the first adoption was, logistically speaking, from every angle. Seems like a couple of years ago.

The veteran who is renting a room at our house is re-building her life. She has a boyfriend, volunteers and is working toward bettering herself. Kudos, young lady. My mom gave her a gift certificate with which she bought a coat, the first new coat she has had in a long time. This is what Christmas is all about.

Bean is getting old. Her old bones hurt when it's cold. It makes me sad. She is only eight but it seems she has aged quickly in her life. She was a total puppy for two years, then she has slowed down considerably ever since. She is even cuddling with a cat, a cat who licks her, for crying out loud.

Santa is going to Iraq to visit our troops and he is taking H4H tshirts with him. He plans to give one to the highest ranking General he meets. Pretty darn big deal. Santa leaves CLT for BGW Friday. He is a great man. Served four tours as a medic in Vietnam.

Is there every going to be a day in my life that I don't crave spicy buffalo chicken wings? I swear I could eat them every single day. It's the only food I will eat "on the bone". They are good boneless too, and the BEST on a salad at a place in the DFW airport with ranch dressing. Heaven.

Seriously, when will I stop wanting to run out at any hour to pay any price to buy some spicy buffalo wings? I hated spicy foods until...I'm really not sure. But I used to always get mild wings and then one day I ordered medium. Now I order hot and feel kind of bad ass about it. Am I going to be that older woman in the contest who eats the hottest wings on the planet one day?

I have the best partner in the whole world. His name is Jason. And no one knows his true awesomeness but me. I feel so privileged.

Now for a bath and some reading and sleep. This semi-balanced life is good stuff.

Dec 7

Wow!

A few of my accomplishments in the last 4 months:

Eight successful adoptions, from Charlotte to Wilmington.

A mention in TIME magazine. Yep, this is a big one.

Three awesome television news stories; one from FOX, one from WBTV and one ran statewide through WSOC.

An amazing six member board of directors in place.

A major article in the Fayetteville Observer.

Awarded "Link Leading Lady" by 107.9FM.

Lost contact with "friends". Yep, I actually consider this a positive, to have gotten people out of my life who are "takers" versus "givers".

Two articles on The Examiner web site.

I also feel like I have sort of found my groove over the last four months. I have spent some days working and pushing myself so hard, it felt like a marathon. But I did it. I have also learned to delegate and step back when others are willing to help. And I have learned that no matter what, I have a partner who will stand by me, encourage me and love me. I have discovered I am more powerful that I ever thought I would be, and that I can do anything I set my mind out to do. I have also learned to trust, but not blindly. Any uneasy feeling I get is now listened to and dealt with accordingly, whereas I used to sweep it under the rug.

Hooray for growth!

aug 17

yesterday: woke at 3am. couldn't sleep. got to sleep around 6am. alarm off at 630. hit snooze. 7am phone rings. it's derek, who just adopted cain. cain got out the night before and hasn't come home. i pry myself out of bed. they haven't owned a dog before, so they have not idea what to do. animal control opens at 11am so we have to wait until then to call. he has a microchip but no one has called. meanwhile i have to get pixel the boston to the vet because she is scratching like crazy. her ears are badly infected. 1030 we are there. dr. mac from freedom animal hospital is good and cheap but not as gentle as i would like. good thing she is a sweet girl who doens't mind a little roughhouseing. we were told she was spayed but dr. mac says no. $130 later, she feels better. jason wants to keep her.

loretta deaton from the vet center has been begging me for this dog. she has referred two veterans to us, but not real great candidates. dewey had a stroke so now sissy is with us, and the 2nd vet wasn't ready for a dog: transient housing, no fence, etc.

then today (tues) she calls to tell me she is not so interested since the dog isn't spayed. apparently she has had two dogs that died after complications from spay surgery. i kind of understand, but come on.

matched a puppy from animal control today with a charlotte police officer. kirsten b called me about four monts ago wanting a pupy, and i told her since she was in the academy, she wasn't ready. so she graduated, now she's a cop, and she found a lab mix puppy at AC she likes. i picked up the dog today and it's a great match. kb will take great care of her.

thurs i go to fayetteveille to match a pit bull with a brain trauma victim named dean. 1st trip to fayetteville.

i have had a bad stomach ache all day, under my left ribs. hoping it's nothing big bc of no insurance.

maniacal woman from peanut's place was at animal care and control today. not colleen, but her side kick. she said something to me about how she heard we adopted out animals that weren't fized. i was like, uh no. the nerve! then she chided me for adopting a puppy, and she yelled at her son who was with her, in public. talked to him like he was a moron. ugh i do not like that woman. i just smiled and carried on. some rescue people are wacko.

the last 2 months have gone by so fast. i have a hard time remembering what day it is, much less the date. i have to look it up every day when i need it. hopefully things will be more in balance soon. took the blog private so it's private. one of my "friends" gave me a hard time about writing about a certain someone and then a certain someone demanded an apology. i deleted the post and apologized but wish i would have kept it, because it was 100% true.

Going private

Since I get the most from writing in my blog as a personal journal rather than a place to keep people up to date, I'm going private. Please don't be offended when the screen says the blog is for "invited guests only", because no one is invited. I simply need a place where I can write and vent.

July 4th Weekend

Flew to Dallas this weekend to surprise my mom with a 60th birthday party. I felt like a jet setter, flying in then getting my nails done to pass the time. Then I realized I needed a shower before the party (in a big way) so I went into an LA Fitness and they gave me a day pass after I acted like I wanted to join. Stopping to shower at a gym and drying off with the pajamas you packed takes the jet setter feeling away pretty quickly.

Mom was shocked about the party and especially when I came out of the kitchen at the restaurant for the reveal. My grandma, three aunts and two uncles drove out from Kansas and Louisiana and when they showed up she about lost it. It was pretty cool. My uncle Steve, a total cowboy, from Kansas, cracked me up with his one liners and cowboy sensibility. One of my favorites: "Nobody likes to go to bed a loser." I wish I could have videotaped the whole night.

My sister still drives me crazy. We had not seen each other in ten years (!!!) because we do not see eye to eye. I am briquettes on the grill and she is gasoline. I managed to play it cool and not get too worked up. In a group setting it's not too bad but in the car with just her, my step dad and her husband? I thought I might die of being pissed off.

She took Drama in high school and never left class. Everything is either FANTASTIC! or HORRIBLE! and it makes me want to vomit. If I had a dollar for every time she said the word 'fantastic' this weekend it would have paid for my plane ticket. And to say she stretches the truth is an understatement. Here are some examples:

"I'm a child psychologist" What she means is that she has a masters in psych and works with kids. Different from someone with a doctorate. When called out by mom with the doctorate part she says, "Well, I don't have one yet".

"Joe Family Member (named changed) only played baseball in college because his dad did" In reality, Joe's dad never played baseball. Or went to college. But she honestly, seriously, believes her story is correct.

"My friend saw the picture of us on Facebook and asked if we were twins" OK now I'm pissed. Pictures of us when we were each five years old are similar. Thirty years later, she is 50 pounds heavier and...50 pounds heavier. I'm no supermodel but I sure as hell couldn't pass for the twin of a 240 pound woman.

I am hoping, OK praying, that she just texts me and doesn't start to call, now that she has my number. It feels so wrong to not want to hang out with my 'sister', but if she was just a person I knew, I would stay about a thousand miles away. Maybe that's why I live in NC and she's in Missouri. One of the reasons anyway. I used to feel pretty guilty about not trying harder to reach out to her, or about not extending the olive branch one more time. However the guilt I have felt about not having her in my life has been absolved. She is a complete wacko in my eyes and there are very good reasons why I have not seen her in 10 years. Maybe in another 10 things will mellow out?

Am I allowed to digress? I'm not even 100% sure what that means, but overall it was a good weekend. I got to almost make my mom pee in her pants with excitement and laugher (twice!) and was able to see relatives I hadn't seen in a long time. The travel stories at coffee time the day of departure were worth the flight. And spending time with Mark and Lori at the restaurant for a few hours before the party was really super great. Even sleeping on the sofa pull-out wasn't bad because Twig would cuddle with me.

Now I'm home and back to work. Made some headway today and hoping to have programs in place for the Fayetteville VA hospital in the next month or so. Sissy is staying with us while Dewey is in rehab; we placed Sis in Dewey's home then he had a stroke. I'm taking her to see him tomorrow and then he is supposed to go home next week. I'm not really hopeful and she may have to stay with us, which I (and Jason) are totally OK with. Three dogs again! Well she is small, so 2.5 dogs. Maybe the vet will charge us half for her annual visit. ha ha

Wow, that is the most I have written in a long time. Maybe I only like to write when something pisses me off? I was yearning for a laptop or a word processor or something to put my thoughts on paper with while on the plane. I might be on to something. So, wait, this means I haven't been really pissed off in a few months? Holy hell that is freaking amazing!

Great weekend

More bullets. Bullets=too lazy to write. I know because I'm too lazy to write right now. Totally OK with it.

Weekend bullets:

garage sale, made $27 after four hours in 92 degree with 80% humidity.

took a bunch of stuff to Goodwill that didn't sell. that'll teach you, you "will you take 50 cents for all of this?" cheapos. the tax donation is worth more: go away.

awesome lunch with Jason including wine with gorgonzola and onion pizza. i love him.

trip to the library. one new book, a CD and two movies to watch. free. awesome.

meeting with Hilary and Becca for newsletter. love their help, but starting to remember why I hate meetings.

great episodes of This American Life on Netflix streaming. we watched four in a row.

finished up painting the living room. looks so great. beautiful color.

researched a camping trip. 4pawskingdom.com looks like where we are going. cannot wait!

one fantastic night's sleep.

sleeping until 9am. glorious!

fighting (not literally) over the book Super Freakonomics with Jason. interesting read.

browsing laptop computers at Best Buy.

bought two used games for the PS3 and Wii.

bought an Izze soda from Starbucks and didn't get charged for a large cup of ice to pour it into... score! now i have an awesome Starbucks cup to reuse for drinks this week. it's the small things.

spent $21 at the farmer's market and got: 30 farm fresh eggs, 3 pounds of fresh peaches, two giant fresh tomatoes, four big onions, a homemade cherry pie, fingerling potatoes and a head of good garlic.

made some headway into the Mount Everest of laundry in our closet.

made a frittata and working on egg salad.

homemade gorgonzola and onion pizza tonight.

Update

Things are starting to get a little less crazy, which I welcome. My partner Hil and I are developing a routine and we're starting to get into a groove with who takes care of what. Because I'm no longer working a 40 hour week for the Census and another 30 to 40 for the nonprofit, my life has come back into balance. Thank Gawd.

We have been taking Diesel to Dogtopia to help with his socialization, and this weekend we took him out to a Dog Sports Day at the US National Whitewater Center. He was so good and we are both very proud of him.

I borrowed a few exercise tapes from a friend, and one of my goals is to start working out at least a couple of times a week. I sit at this computer all day, if I'm not out meeting with someone, so I'm leading a pretty inactive life and have put on a few pounds since being out of school and not going to my part time job. One of my other goals is to go out with a girlfriend (or a group of friends) once every two weeks. This is difficult, because most of my friends are also very busy people. And many, like me, aren't very social. Once we are finished with work, we want to hang around the house or do something solo.

Hmmm, what else is new? I'm meeting with a potential mentor tomorrow and working on building our board of directors over the next few weeks. And working on creating a long-distance program for Fort Bragg, which is about three hours away. We have a local program in place, now it's time to branch out. Once we have the kinks out we can expand to other cities, which I am really looking forward to.

Jason and I bought some paint this weekend and have started to paint our new place. We hired an interior decorator as a consultant when we first moved in back in January to help us pick our colors, now we're getting around to painting. The kitchen is almost done. It's a very light brown suede color. The living and dining areas are a greenish gray, the hallway is another version of the light brown suede, then the master bedroom is a very light, warm gray and the bathroom is a much darker version. It's going to look awesome. Will post some before and after pics next week some time.