The treehouse from hell

This is the rental page that describes the cabin where we stayed over Labor Day weekend for Jase's birthday this year. Looks great, right?

We thought so too. Until we got there.

What hit us as soon as we entered was the heavy smell of mildew. A dehumidifier was on full blast and maybe it had helped but anyone with asthma or a breathing issue of any kind could not have stayed there. We both had sore throats and runny noses after being there just a few hours. But we stuck it out. We were there to have fun and by golly we were going to have fun!

So we laughed off the disgusting, dirty and dank dark green carpet.

And we laughed off the lack of a shower curtain. And the rotten apples, placed for us by our gracious host, for our enjoyment. Seriously, the apples were 100% rotten.

We stayed outside as much as we could, on the deck, which was surrounded by poison oak and sumac.

We wished we could have seen the beautiful rock outcroppings at night, but the "extensive exterior lighting system" was not working. It was just dark. Real dark. So be sure you get home before dark, unless you want to fall down the unlit 25 steps to the house. And watch out for the poison plants, in that dark.

The kitchen was the nicest part of the place. It indeed had stainless appliances. But it also had dirty dishes and silverware in the drawers and cabinets. The coffee maker had been used to make coffee some days past, but still had coffee and an old filter still moist. I'm guessing the humidity of the place preserved it. But don't look under the sink, I'm sure there's more than one "something" living in there:

The smell of humidity was so bad that it actually woke me up at night. In the middle of the night I would awake and feel a little nauseous. It was the smell. We even brought our own linens, but the smell permeated the sheet I held so tightly to my face.

We laughed off all of the nastiness of this place, until the morning of our departure, when we decided it was finally OK to talk about how bad it was. Finally we both felt like we had had our good time, and now it was time to crucify this place. As we packed, we remarked at the atrocities of the cabin. And we took photos. Then, Jase found this:

It's a note left by a previous guest, for the owner. Along with some incense and air freshener. Why the owner kept it in the closet for someone to later find baffles me, but Jase found it as we packed and we immediately had a laugh fest.

This is what it says:

"4 1/2 out of 10 stars. We had to buy: bar soap, hangers, incense to cover up the really bad mildew smell. Carpet could use a good cleaning. Left incense and deodorizer for next guest to use. I would not rent this unit out as it is. We spent two days trying to cover it up to make it tolerable. PS: thanks for allowing us to watch TV.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention there was a TV but no basic cable, no nothing but snow TV. There was one DVD movie, I think it was Saw 3. Nice. I would think for $150 a night the place would have basic cable, but that's just me I guess.

So we're looking for a camper. Labor Day weekend was the last time I spend over $100 a night to sleep in a crappy place. Sleeping in my own crappy place on wheels will be much better. :)

Then I left a note for the owner, along with the "old note" and "accessories". My note was nicer and just reiterated that the mildew issue really should be taken care of before it's rented again. But it doesn't look like he has heeded my advice, because the place is still for rent, now for $150/night!